Birthday Lessons

As I sit here on this morning of my 32 birthday I can’t help but reflect on the amount of shit, love and learning I have been through the last 32 years of life. Some of my favorites are as follows….

1.) You cannot choose your family, we are all pre destined to the place we are in now , but just because your not exactly like the other members from the same DNA pool as you doesn’t mean you don’t have a place. Being different is what will in the end save most of the close calls in your life, embrace it and no matter how hard you or anyone else may try to change it hold on to it with all you’ve got and just believe that there’s a divine reason your writing poems at the age of 7.

2.) Falling in love is so much different than falling in lust. Lust is just the feeling of being desired.. being in love is feeling completely whole , connected and respected. Lust brings dirty feelings of guilt, unacceptedness, and dis-trust. Love brings feelings of understanding, safety and growth. When you feel love, you feel calm and you’ll know the difference because love looks real, it’s hard, it’s happy, it’s sad, it’s work, it’s reward, it’s worth it. Lust is always searching for more, always wondering, always waiting, and it will never feel fulfilled. Wait for love as long as it takes until your soul feels likes its exploding, because when you know, you know and my God it’s worth the wait.

3.) Having kids is like a wild game of plinko… when they wake up in the morning you never know what hole their going to drop in today and there will be all kinds of bumps turns and disappointment…Having expectations of parenting will make your life a living hell… remember what I said in #1. even though they are all made from the same genes they are all completely different…and that’s ok…. let them be ‘ the sensitive one’ ‘the emotional one’ ‘ the accident prone one’ ‘ the independent one’. Don’t ever forget that THEY ARE HUMAN TOO. They have a purpose here on this world too and if we push too hard at how we want them to be they will lose sight of who they are. Guide them through each day/challenge, teach them to be good kind humans and then the rest is up to them.

4.) Marriage will only work if you continue to grow…When you get married you do not sign a contract that says you must remain this hot little figure no matter what you go through in life because that would mean you married for lust. Signing up for marriage does say that you must withstand better or worse and honor your partner. This is so important because through your life together you will yo yo through pregnancies, emotional head torture, hormones, sleepless nights, temptations, deaths, births, vacations, and much much more. Honoring your partner through all of this means you respect and support them through it all you don’t try to control their actions… you stand back while each other is growing and changing and maturing and you respect that their soul remains the same and you nurture the shit outta that to help them reach their full potential. Without tandem respect and growth the future is bleak.

5.) Don’t stop changing. I’ve been so many things in my life and I couldn’t be more grateful for that curious part of myself that challenges myself to trying new things. One life people… this as many things as you want to be… if it pleases your soul… do it.. try it… fail at it and then say ” nope wasn’t for me but at least i tried” Not everyone you meet that can’t make up their mind is an unstable human being. It might actually mean that they like to remain open and wild so that the right wind of destiny will lead them to the answer. It’s so cool.. you may not be the same person you were in your 20’s but that’s the beauty babe… you get to be someone new, someone more mature, someone who’s experienced shit not many people in their 20’s can even fathom, but they too my dear, them with their filters, flat abs and nights out will soon be the urine leaking stretch marked, finding hairs where there not supposed to be 30 ‘s like us… but they too will see the beauty in surviving this far.

6.) Don’t compare apples and oranges. When you’re feeling guilty because you’re upset because you just found yet another gray hair but you know that there are people our there suffering from much worse conditions realize that you ARE allowed to be upset. Just because your problem isn’t terminal doesn’t mean it isn’t life changing. Growing is not easy when your body is telling you it’s getting older but your brain is still 23 at kegs and eggs on 4th street. It’s OK to be upset that your back hurts when you wake up in the morning you just carried the whole load of yesterday (more than likely more than just your load) like a fucking G. Don’t belittle your challenges, you are more than deserved of the venting and complaining.. Just in the end see the beauty in the struggle.

7.) Give it to the universe. When you have a problem big or small and your head can’t possibly facilitate an answer or even a second to comprehend it… give it to God, the universe, spirit, whoever you believe… and let it go.. but trust in faith that it will resolve… Don’t doubt it for one second.

8.) Not everyone can be saved. Don’t take on the news and the worlds tragedies and hold them in your heart. It will harden your heart and you’ll forget all the greatness in your life right here right now. Be sad for a moment and then put the phone down, turn off the news and go live your blessed chaotic life and continue to teach compassion love and hope. The world will never know complete peace because without villains there are no heroes.

9.) Break down, ask for help, save yourself. Woman or man , we carry far too much every day. Life is hard, life is brutal and sometimes its overwhelming.. That’s ok. It doesn’t mean you have to be stricken with a debilitating anxiety disorder for the rest of your life. We were given each other and every situation for a purpose. Utilize the shit out of your co workers, your family, your therapist, whoever you can.. They will not personally be effected by your unloading but you will feel so much better and 9 times outta ten find out that your not alone. The mind is a powerful thing, don’t let it control your heart.

10.) Be Free. Don’t let anyone plant you in the sand and clip your wings. you were meant to fly, to discover, to live. Do it. Even if not in the sense of traveling and vacationing, but in life in general. In love, in work, in health… don’t settle and don’t be unseen, unheard or unappreciated. You were meant to bloom a wild flower and you were born to grow. Don’t let any circumstance stub that growth. You are as free as your heart and your mind will allow you to be , so keep them open and always singing.

Life is beautiful damnit… Happy Birthday ❤

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